A short note on how self-awareness makes you better at life

Your loved ones will thank you

I’m a therapist who loves writing and explaining concepts in ways people can grasp, and hopefully also inspire the desire to pursue the art of growing for the sake of yourself and all the people you love, including your relationship with God!

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There’s purpose in the knowing!

Click here if you need at least one reason for getting to know yourself.

You might be thinking all of this self-reflection is really just self-absorption. But I have a different way for you to think about getting to know yourself and motivation for putting in the effort.

Knowing yourself basically means you are noticing and observing what’s going on inside of you more often and developing an awareness of how you react and are impacted by those circumstances or people around you.

It’s not just “what’s my favorite color?”

We’ve got to go deeper than this, folks.

It’s more like putting in the time to become friendly with yourself, really getting to know yourself, so you can become better at life!

Let me give you an example:

You are joining a new class and hoping to make some friends. You walk into the classroom and notice many people are already engaged in conversations, and you begin scanning the room for an opportunity to step into one of those huddled groups. All you can see are closed circles of groups and then there’s the small table of water/coffee. You go directly to the table and fumble with the cups a few extra seconds, buying some time before you look up again to see where you could go sit without feeling awkward.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

So this type of scenario would be a great chance to notice a few things about yourself and it could tell you a lot. Maybe it’s something like: you notice your heart rate increasing, you immediately feel isolated, you wonder if you’ll be rejected, you have an urge to leave, you wonder if people are judging you.

It could be all sorts of thoughts and feelings that are valid, but also might really hinder you from making friends and staying engaged in the situation.

What might happen if you just leave?

You might lose the chance of making friends.

It’s also ok if you leave, but at least if you’re aware of what’s going on inside you, you can make an intentional decision for yourself if it’s better to leave or stay.

Here’s another one:

What about when you and your spouse get in an argument or conflict? Do you notice you want to avoid talking about it? Do you lash out instead? Do you try to appease right away? This is all helpful information to notice about yourself so you can learn how THAT reaction impacts other things going on around you. Is this reaction working for you? Does it work for your relationship?

You’re just information-gathering about yourself.

All this information-gathering can help you identify what’s going on when something isn’t feeling right in a relationship.

You can look to yourself, inside yourself, to start the process of discovery.

Knowledge about yourself can be sought out with and result in great humility.

Remember, knowing has a purpose!

Let me know if this was helpful and would love to know your thoughts about your hindrances to self-reflection.

Love having you on this journey of going deep and underneath,

Heather

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Let me know what you find helpful in these ideas and would love to hear any comments you have! Enjoy hearing from you and appreciate you!

And if you enjoy these writings and find them helpful and encouraging, and you haven’t already subscribed, consider subscribing!

Heather Mather is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in private practice in Newport Beach, CA, seeing clients in-person and telehealth all over California. Contact info: 303-250-1538, 1151 Dove St, Suite 100, Newport Beach, CA, 92660.

**first photo taken from Google Images*