Brain fog and vulnerability

Lostness and softness

Apr 26, 2025

I’m a therapist who’s out breaking the stereotype that therapists have it all together! I love writing and explaining concepts in ways you can grasp, hoping to inspire the desire to pursue the art of growing emotionally and spiritually, and hoping you find yourself in these posts, as I’m always on the journey of finding me.

I never thought I’d see brain fog as a gift.

I’m assuming it’s from getting older, although I keep hearing younger people say they have it too. It could just be a result of the past several years of stress and pressure a lot of people have endured—maybe it’s a result of ADD and technology.

For me, I think it’s just plain old age stuff.

What I’ve noticed about brain fog is this: it makes me feel less in control of my life.

Forgetting words, and where I was going. Forgetting appointments. Having no recollection of what I said to someone or what they said to me. Decision-making is a much bigger task— it’s so hard to land the plane!

It feels like there’s a barrier from what I want to say, to the actual process of forming sentences, especially if I’m put on the spot—— I feel less sharp.

This is not the me I want to be!

My mind used to feel like I was cutting through information to get to my very precise point, and now it feels like I can’t find where my point is and I get lost on the way to finding it.

Even writing has become harder and sometimes I feel like I’m talking in circles looking for my point.

Let’s see…what’s my point here?

But here’s the thing—I think the brain fog might be here to stay!

So I’m trying to just adjust and learn how to function within what feels like wandering and being lost in a forest of words.

It’s all been very humbling and vulnerable to not only feel a loss of control over my brain, but to have others possibly notice and make judgments.

“Oh, she’s kind of flakey and forgetful.”

“Oh, she’s not very professional if she already forgot my dog’s name!”

“She’s not very articulate.”

The funny thing is, I don’t know if anybody else even notices, but I sure do.

Here’s the gift:

The dulling of my sharpness has brought a softness that is a new level of vulnerability for me. I’m realizing as time passes and I embrace the change, that it’s a better way of life for me. For someone who is so organized, structured, controlled, and really can be rigid at times, this lostness is bringing a softness that is learning to be ok with imperfection and mistakes that quite honestly… I used to judge others for!

I want to be dependable and reliable— those are important attributes to me and when I’m forgetting what I promised someone I’d do, I can feel like I”m being a bad friend or spouse or therapist.

One of the coolest parts is realizing the grace I’ve received from others and hearing things like, “No worries. I’m always forgetting things too.”

The judgment really isn’t there. It’s only there from the other ones who are more cutting and have a hard time with their imperfections.

And I can relate to and have compassion for that struggle too.

It’s really just a fear that if you don’t come through for others in a reliable way, you’ll disappoint and let others down— and ultimately, the fear of losing relationships because of your own imperfections.

Such a sad pressure some of us put on ourselves!

The even greater gift in all of this is not only have I seen a lack of judgment from others, but I see I’m not only NOT losing relationships, but gaining from and deepening the ones I do have.

Funny what happens when we stop trying to hold it all together.

As I still try to adjust to my aging brain dynamics the past few years, I continually see the deepening of dependence on God I must lean into, as He seems to have me on a journey of letting go of more and more control.

And the realization that more and more dependence on Him, just makes me softer and softer.

What a gift.

Thanks for reading,

Heather

Refreshing Salt & Light

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