Goal-setting fatigue?

Rest and receive the new year

I’m a therapist who loves writing and explaining concepts in ways you can grasp, hoping to inspire the desire to pursue the art of growing because you are important and all the people you love are too.

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You might be really tired of striving right now.

Here’s a few thoughts when thinking about the year ahead:

1. Concentrate on internal changes, instead of external

I’m wondering if this new year can be different for you. Take a break from thinking about changing externals, and think about resting and receiving what you need to make internal shifts.

People are overwhelmed with their busy lives. The last thing some people need right now is more goals to pursue or tasks to do.

The part of life often neglected are the internal shifts that are waiting to be received.

So maybe this year it’s time to put more focus on the internal.

What I mean is, maybe you need to grow in patience instead of reading more books. Or you need to grow in receiving love from your spouse, instead of starting a blog or redecorating your bedroom.

We’re overwhelmed with tasks and productivity in our culture, but often what is missing is the softer pursuit of internal change.

• Patience

• Kindness

• Self-control

• Humility

• Peacefulness

Maybe you’ve been noticing you’re impatient with your spouse. This could mean it’s time to begin cultivating patience in your daily interactions to grow closer in your relationship.

Make it a more reflective, introspective year as you concentrate on cultivating the seeds of what you noticed was starting to come up for you in 2024.

2. Try focusing on only 1 or 2 internal changes

Less is more.

Go deeper instead of wider.

Can you imagine the difference in yourself if you just picked one thing to focus on and really set up intent to shift in this attribute?

Think about what internal change you can focus on day in and day out that would be impactful to your life by the end of the year.

Is there a theme in your life you’ve noticed you need to shift?

Each day you could look for ways to cultivate a new kindness with your spouse, kids or friendships.

Or what about self-control (beyond food/exercise goals)?

How can you be more self-controlled in your emotional outbursts? Maybe this means you read books on it too. The goal isn’t reading more books, but learning about emotional regulation for the sake of internal shifts to take place.

Reflect on what you’d like to cultivate more in your life internally such as:

• kindness toward cashiers

• picking one friend to pray for intentionally throughout the day

• becoming more patient with your spouse

• giving your parent the benefit of the doubt

• driving slower instead of rushing

• reaching out to the friend who brushed you off

• making conversation with the grouchy neighbor as opportunity arises

• passing peace onto others more often

• receiving love when it’s offered

• receiving forgiveness from God in an area you hold back

3. Rest and receive instead of striving

Resting and receiving is the way to maintain your internal 2025 shifts.

The only way we can make and maintain these shifts in attributes is by receiving God’s grace in doing so. As we rest and open our hearts to receiving His peace, patience and humility, we notice the small shifting slowly take place over the year. As we receive from Him, we can give to others the same.

You can see how all of these things take intention and a different way of looking at your year instead of striving and fatiguing yourself with productivity.

I wonder how you’d be at the end of the year if an internal shift was your focus for 2025?

I’d love to hear what you’re thinking of focusing on!

Heather

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Heather Mather is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in private practice in Newport Beach, CA, seeing clients in-person and telehealth all over California. Contact info: 303-250-1538, 1151 Dove St, Suite 100, Newport Beach, CA, 92660.