The dark side

I’m a therapist who’s out breaking the stereotype that therapists have it all together! I love writing and explaining concepts in ways you can grasp, hoping to inspire the desire to pursue the art of growing emotionally and spiritually, and hoping you find yourself in these posts, as I’m always on the journey of finding me.

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Have you ever experienced someone a particular way, and then you noticed something slight-- a comment, a gesture-- giving you a glimpse of a darker side?

You get this sinking, conflicted feeling.

You’ve been giving this person the benefit of the doubt, defending them, when those close to you have been exposing something about them.

You keep saying things like, “I don’t think so. I don’t think that’s what she meant.”

You advocated for the parts you thought were real and whole in the person.

But some of these small glimpses were telling a different story. 

And even then, the glimpses might not convince you of anything. 

Self-doubt accumulates leaving you with diminished confidence.

It might take many glimpses over a long period of time to see the whole picture. 

One day something clicks, the whole picture makes sense.

But it still takes a long time until you can finally lift your head higher, realizing it’s not only you and your issues, it’s them and their bigger, darker issues.

What a discovery!

What a truth.

And what a relief.

With this relief, you see you’re being released from needing or wanting this person to like you, or need approval from them.

You realize you can’t connect with the dysfunction, and so the closed lever opens for you to walk out of this cage of disapproval.

Because how could you ever gain approval from this type of dysfunction?

And so you weren’t the problem all along.

You were getting blamed.

There was more to the story.

You played a part and you owned it.

And you wait for them to own their end.

You get a sense that God is uncovering some things you were getting blamed for. And He was doing some work in you that’s been quite painful.

But it turns out He’s also doing some work in their story too.

Be encouraged, the goodness of God has your back and is working in the pain, defending you and transforming the situation in the way He sees fit.

God is your Defender and you can rest knowing He sees it all.

He sees us all.

And darkness will not prevail.

If you feel like it, I’d love to have you share, comment or “like” this post, or subscribe and share the Substack—it helps me get it circulating more. Thank you!

Heather

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Heather Mather is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) in private practice in Newport Beach, CA, seeing clients in-person and telehealth all over California. Contact info: 303-250-1538, 1151 Dove St, Suite 100, Newport Beach, CA, 92660.

**Google images used***